Today My Name is...33

Happy 33rd Birthday to me! YAY!

As I look back at this past year 32 has treated me ok. I've been through a lot, lost a lot and have found strength and courage to keep moving. I set a goal this past year to push through the pain from the car accident, to find new hobbies and things that make me happy and to do whatever health wise to avoid medications. I set my mind to focus on the positives, good memories, and beauty in life. This positive outlook helped me greatly through the loss of my grandmother.

I am so against medications. I just find them to be a band aid to bigger problems. It's hard to work through or fix anything if you cannot feel it. That said I will take medications when I must and the only one I've really considered has been for migraines this past year. Migraines have become my arch enemy and are the only thing that really bogs me down. I can fight through days with my arm, I've learned to live with the pain and days where I'm plagued with numbness, my left arm compensates and I adjust accordingly. Migraines though....those can be so completely debilitating. I lose days to bed and migraines unfortunately. For the most part I do try to live through them and get by, sometimes I just fold. Every day that I make it through still positive by bed time I feel this huge rush of success and accomplishment.

This past year was a real challenge for me. Learning to rise above negative and live happier is no easy task. Each day I had to smile and remind myself that I can allow pain to rule or I can be the boss and find ways to beat it. I also remind myself daily that it takes more work to be negative than to just enjoy things. Positivity is really wonderful and allows doors to open in every way. Lately I see this so much more and I really believe it's because positivity breeds positivity.

I have learned to find new life enjoyments. Cooking, meal planning, reading, blogging, spending solid time with my family, camping...these are things I really enjoy. I hope to continue to build on them and add more enjoyable things to my list.

Last night as I sat with my husband explaining my moment of clarity and realization about who I was and what my 20's meant to me I realised that my 30's will bring both of my girls to their grade 12 grads...drivers licenses, boyfriends....in many ways more trying times but these are the years that I realise that my girls will also start to spend less time home or with us. So I am making a point of creating opportunity to enjoy every moment they are willing to share with us which is why purchasing an RV is so imperative right now. We really want to spend more time away on weekends and through the summer. It's so hard to believe that my girls were babies not long ago. These years pass far too fast. What wonderful ladies they have both become! I could not be more proud!

I also spoke with my mother last night explaining to her how my teen years were a challenge, my 20's I struggled to really find myself and my place in every one's life but that I am really enjoying being in my 30's. I fret so much less and understand so much more. My mother agreed with me and informed me that the 40's are even better. Why is it that we cannot enjoy every age and every stage? I have memories I cherish from every point in life but I appreciate everything so much more at this point and it really feels good.

I don't know what the next year holds, but I hope for the next year. I look forward to continuing on the healthy path. I look forward to positive results from the hospital (fingers crossed).

As for February:
-I hope to take my health focus to a new level.
-read another 2 books
-stay on the track of balance

I have no lists planned, no big goals. I just look forward to finding enjoyment in each day and the small successes that come along the way. The little things right!

33 is a good number.

Today My Name Is...33 & Happy Birthday to Me!

Today My Name Is...Clarity

I've just had one of those wow moments in life where clarity hits so completely it's like I have finally really understood myself.

I was reading the last pages of the book, Learning to Breathe when the ADD hit me and caught me thinking about my birthday tomorrow. For a short second I wondered what my husband might surprise me with or if he would do anything at all. Then just like that I didn't care.

I realized then that I had everything I could ever want in my life, I needed nothing else to feel complete. I may want for things but I need nothing. I have the most perfect family, the most loving husband, incredibly intelligent beautiful daughters, my parents and my in-laws are all still with us and I have the greatest friends I could ever ask for.

Every single day without fail my husband surprises me, he shows me he cares, he supports me. Every single day I know how deeply he loves me by the look in his eye, the smile, his laugh, his desire to be home with me and our girls. He offers all the time to help or just does. For the moments he doesn't I understand and for his short falls....well they balance out mine.

In that short moment like a picture to my past I saw how sad, upset & disappointed I was in my 20's when either nothing would come, very little or something I never would have wanted came on my birthday. There was the WOW. Here I am, a day from being 33 and I'm looking back realizing that in those days, my 20's I was building confidence, self-esteem, trying to find my place in the world, struggling with more than most 20 year olds. I was coming into myself but not yet comfortable in myself. Those gifts, no matter how big or small were not seen so much as gifts then, but I read so much more than needed to be into them. For instance I saw them as either no effort, little effort and felt that these determined how much my husband felt for me. I questioned everything in those days...and as I look back I realize how sad those days really were.

Material items hold no true emotions or meaning. If you lost them tomorrow you would still live. It's every moment of every day you spend with a person that matters. It truly is the little things.

I became a mother young, out of wed lock. My husband is the father of both our girls, we were high school sweet hearts and had every intention of getting married and sharing our lives but everything happened sooner than planned. With being a young mother judgement fell hard upon me and I carried that along the way. I didn't need to but I did. To a point I still do as others around me, (especially in my oldest daughters sports) judge us or make comments about us being so young. I think that played a part in my struggles with myself. I felt I needed to be perfect in my 20's, perfect clean home, well fed family, skinny, accomplished....you name it and the picture I had then for what I should be was unattainable.

What is the true meaning of perfect? I know....it's turning 33 tomorrow and knowing what matters, and having the best gifts in the world with me....my family. That is perfect. I am content, I am happy with myself. I am happy with my life. I may be on a path of understanding and healthier living but I am solidly aware of what matters most and what the true meaning of perfect is. Thank you ADD for this moment of clarity. Thank you 33 for welcoming me with open arms and strong embrace.

Today My Name Is...Clarity

Today My Name is Anxiety

 

So January is almost over....so much accomplished and it feels great....but there's also so much ahead to look forward to and to do and to consider. I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed today. Maybe it's because I had a brief conversation with a friend this morning that got me thinking about my oldest daughter's upcoming grade 9 grad, or her trip to Montreal with school or the possibility of a big purchase this weekend.....

I'm sure that this year is no different really than any other with things coming up....but I do have my oldest getting closer to being in Grade 10...new school. We are waiting to here about a program that she applied into. Suddenly today my mind is a tornado of activity and all I can see are $$$$. I guess I should get her out to shop for a grad dress...I have a place in mind to purchase but she should try a few styles on to see which she likes best on herself before we order. If I order from Etsy I will save, which then can assist with purchasing nice heels, accessories and hair as well.

Montreal is pretty much paid for. Spending cash is already set aside. So I shouldn't stress right? But I am...my baby is going to be without her parents for 1 week!!! She'll have an amazing week but still, I don't know how to prepare myself for this. I'm sure I will have loads of anxiety as we get closer and then the whole week she's away as well. Lord help me!

I wonder if this anxiety I feel today is at all because I'm both excited and nervous about the purchase of a trailer? We're heading to the RV show this weekend with the intention of purchasing a trailer to simplify our weekends away. I am so excited about this as we intend to get away as many weekends this year as we possibly can. In comparison to the tent trailer we will have so much more time around the site to enjoy our time instead of fretting the set up and take down and it will be so much easier with dogs, especially a senior dog. I always fret when it comes to money though so perhaps that's it?

Or could it be that my birthday is in 2 days? 33 this year! The age doesn't bother me...it never has like I see it bother others. I enjoy getting older as I find more satisfaction and enjoyment in life. I find with each year that I learn so much about myself, my life, my friends and my husband. I look back at the year with great pleasure in seeing all that we accomplish and look ahead with excitement.

I don't know why today I feel anxious. I think lists are playing out in my head and I feel like perhaps I am forgetting something. When I get like this I always wonder if I have forgotten something or over lapped plans or forgot to budget for something.

Really when I sit down and think or write down what either needs to be done or what I would like to get done I get a sense of calm...or in today's case I get a sense of urgency. I just don't know why.

Maybe it's because we have no free time what so ever until Feb? Or that the end of the month is near and I feel a sense of urgency to get things finished? Or because the hospital date is looming closer....I wish answers just came.

Anyways there's a lot going through my head today...I cannot find inner peace. Yesterday my arm cramped all afternoon and evening. For a bit I wondered if I wasn't having a stroke or heart attack. Weather may be a factor too as I have also had a migraine, though I sort of doubt it's weather as it's been nice out. What I really need is Yoga, or meditation...just a nice calm practice...perhaps tonight while my husband and youngest are at riding lessons I will take me time and focus my mind on calm...I hope that helps.

Today My Name is Anxiety

Today My Name is...ADD

So the other day I was sitting reading and the ADD in me got my mind going in another direction. I hate how that happens. Sometimes I can sit and read and not remember a damn thing I have read. This was one of those occasions. What caught my attention was a thought about redecorating!! Talk about left field especially considering the book I was reading.

Anyways, this thought....it got me thinking about redecorating....so I looked around and started imagining the changes. It's been a while since I've really done much around the house. I painted a wall red last summer. The thought all started with an idea about the girls bathroom and instead of getting a new shower curtain to replace the one they got make up all over, installing sliding glass doors instead. That got me considering paint color for the walls....and from there suddenly I was considering painting the bonus room an off white color and putting up white/grey curtains and hanging silver framed pictures of the family in black and white and adding a lovely painting to the back wall... I envision the room to be light and airy like this...

Suddenly I am pricing out glass shower doors, and then that night dragging the family to Home Depot to browse and have a look at various ideas. The thought keeps nagging and the olive walls of the bonus room I have always so loved since I painted them are sitting on the fence of consideration of being painted over....

I've always been an earthy person. Greens, blues, light neutral colors seem safe to me and natural and easy to work with. So that's what I've gone with. Vintage look, spirals, metals all attract me. I don't know what one would call the look in my house. It's not modern. Country vintage? In the past couple years I have felt somewhat brave in painting walls olive and red. Of course these are the only two brave paint steps I have taken. The girls rooms are brave choices...my youngest daughters room is pink and brown and my oldest daughters room is a two tone grey. With their rooms I can close the doors but these olive and red choices are in busy rooms of the house so the choices really stand out and make a statement.

So I question my mind now...is my mind swayed, has it been brain washed by all these contemporary modern choices and colors in decorating magazines? Should I bring the house up with the times? Do I stick with what I have because then it made sense and I liked it and still do? Neutrals have always just been me...the safe path to go down....perhaps the brave color statements were a moment of me trying to live on the edge?

Is this sudden feeling to re-paint my inner self trying to tell me that I feel more calm, less stress, when things around me are fresh, airy and clean looking? Perhaps? The fresh and clean goes hand in hand with my OCD of cleaning and keeping things tidy....maybe that's just me...trying to regain my roots and what appeals to me?

If I were to re-do the outside of our house I'd do it similar to this...and we just had the roof redone so it's already black. Pretty neutral eh? I like it though and the black adds that perfect touch.

So now here I am. I have done my monthly budgeting and feel slightly overwhelmed given other considerations coming to the table. I know what we need to do, what we need to book, that new costs will pop up and while it would be nice to paint and redecorate it almost seems ridiculous to consider it. Maybe next year. I have things I would really like to do and in order. Like develop the basement and new kitchen which would then mean new main floor flooring. That's all costly so painting walls can hold off until other things have been accomplished. Then I start to rethink things....paint is a cheap reno right...a quick way to update, refresh and recharge a room. Hmmmm.....but then again I have purchased and added decorations to the bonus room that would never work with off white walls...so they'd be useless...moved to storage, moved to collect dust...I like these things...Torn, my mind remains in limbo teetering between what is and what could be.

If my oldest moved her room to the basement I could re-do the old room to look something like this for guests! It sure would be a lovely space for my aunts to stay, or cousins or friends...

My kitchen would be something like....

Well....it will become a disagreement with my husband when it comes down to it. White or off white is a hard sell with him, but I have never liked the dark cabinetry that he likes. It looks nice, don't get me wrong, I like it, it looks nice in show homes and other peoples homes but the color is nothing I have ever personally wanted.

I wish I could keep my mind focused....and this is why I write lists! I am a dreamer though....and find that if I write lists I slowly see dreams becoming a reality because if I cross off the things we have to do we are then that much closer to doing what we would like to do.

Priority right? New tires for the Journey and truck, get a trailer, sell the tent trailer, develop the basement.....Oh and if we did develop the basement we'd surely need a book wall like this for my oldest daughter! She LOVES to read. Having easy access to books just outside her bedroom door like this would be perfect!

Oh and then just the other day I see an advertisement for super sale on beds and I start thinking about how to juggle priorities because it would be so nice to have a new King Size bed. Maybe we could do it for our birthdays? Bump something else for the time being? Damn budgets and braces....

Oh ADD!!! I wish I could win the lottery so I could cross stuff off fast and then just go with my ADD flow lol.

Things will in time unravel...come together...as the saying goes, "All good things come in time!" When they come, appreciation for them is right there too.

The waiting is what drives me mental...patience...I lack!

Well Today My Name is...ADD

 

Today My Name is...11

So far so good! No pressure right? I have not confined myself to any commitment aside from a task list that would be nice to complete this month. Simple really...I took a 30 day task list...(task/day) and cut it in half therefore only making 15 tasks to accomplish and having chatted with the hubs he said we could complete any of the one day tasks in an hour if we worked together and realistically in 30 minutes if the girls helped too. So we will see.

Still looking motivated, determined....and happy :)

 

As I have crossed off tasks I've stumbled across items and trinkets and the memories have been abundant. In the office for instance, I was cleaning out drawers and came across all of my old cats vet records and his inked paw prints on paper. It made me smile. He had such amazing feet. Sometimes it's the little things and those who have left their footprints on our hearts that make us smile and that old boy made cleaning out the office that much more worth while. Then while cleaning my nightstand I found a couple pictures of my girlfriend from school that went missing in 2012 as well as a poem my grandmother who passed in 2013 wrote to me in 1990. My heart is very full these days.

I feel as though I'm on a path of lucky. Lotto tickets are resulting in small wins be it $2 or a free play, $10 or $20, it's something each week. Additionally when we left for Mexico we had a woman give us $40 in West Jet vouchers and paid for our lunch, then we ended up in first class both down and back and in addition to a free drink on the plane I got an additional small bottle of white wine. Continuing into 2014 I went to get Viggo a very nice sleep cage for $50 (it was worth so much more) to help with curbing his hormones and the woman offered me her King's cage she also had for sale for $50. She was asking so much more for that one (and it's worth almost if not $1000 alone) so I got two cages for $100 instead of $300 plus she through in a huge swing with the price tag still on that was worth $100 itself! There's been so much more but it's all got me feeling that this is my year, positivity and over all happiness have found me.

Above is the new King's Cage (easy to clean too!) and below is the awesome Sleep cage :)

 

The best part of these cages...I feel so incredibly productive and accomplished in that the sleep cage has allowed me to work with and curb Viggo's hormones and it's motivated me to do things with Viggo that I've been meaning to...so BONUS! YAY!! Pat on the back for the hormones are in check!

It's been nice though just starting off on the right foot by getting little things done. Each accomplished task is one less on the plate and I love that. More so since I didn't load the month with 30 tasks and left room for doing the tasks when time is available. I'm not planning to set myself up for failure and setting realistic goals. This has allowed me to actually finish a book and the year has only just started! That has been one thing I have wanted to do for some time now...just finish a damn book. Haha. Mission accomplished.

Isn't it wonderful when something as simple as reading a book can be accomplished? Now I have a list of books I would like to read. If I can read 1/month that's 12 more than last year. Heck 6 would be great.

Before I left for Mexico I was so on point with watching what I was consuming and it was paying off. I shouldn't say 100% on point because I totally slacked come weekends. I guess I could have done even better. I am back on track and seeing pounds dropping already. This month is sort of a cleanse for me, lots of veggies and fruits and clean eating. I have mentally decided against drinking this month. There are moments that aren't super easy, like visiting with friends or at the end of a long week. It's not a rule but just something I have decided for myself in kicking the year off on a good healthy foot. Additionally it would be good as I now have my hospital date for Feb 11th. Last year my check up was better so they allowed me to book for 18 months instead of the usual 12 months. I'd like to see if I can't do even better by having it moved maybe 20-24 months. I am hoping that the fact I quit smoking and have been eating healthier than even the last visit will help. Fingers crossed!

So my hospital visit has been booked as I said for Feb 11th, there's that number again...11. It's played a big part of each day for me since my grandmother passed away. I see it so often, on the clock, on TV, dates, emails, the cents on bills, apt times and now I am booked in for my yearly hospital visit on the 11th. When I was given the date I was a little taken back, then I went upstairs and the kids were watching Sesame Street and the number for the day was...you guessed it, 11! A few months ago when we went to Banff and rode the Gondola we rode up in Gondola #11. I wondered what universal message was trying to be conveyed to me. Was this good? Was it a sign of something? My girlfriend said she feels that it means I am simply on the right path and that this is a sign to me that I am. With that my anxiety was suppressed. 11 is supposed to hold spiritual meaning. I just don't know why I have been seeing it so much. I will take it as a positive though.

I read just the other day that our skin and our bowels are directly connected and that if there are skin issues often that means the bowel is off or something isn't right. Our bowels and skin are both gateways to release toxins from our bodies and if they are unwell it shows in the form of skin issues ect. I'm hoping my appointment says otherwise as my face has been a mess this past few months. I'm trying to consider my body as a holistic organ as of late and putting healthy meals and thought into everything I do. Water is key as well. I need to drink more water even though most days I feel like I drink enough. Flush the toxins and remain well hydrated.

I've set my mind frame to accept everything that comes into my path each day and not allow it to deter me. I feel this is something people need to do more of. So far not bad. I like being happy so being in this mind frame is just a matter of focusing on positives and giving little thought to negatives. I've been so dead set on having a great 2014 and starting Jan off on the right foot. We did our big Costco meat run and stocked the deep freeze plus picked up frozen fruit for my daily smoothies. This will support my meal planning. I picked up extra self sticking tiles to put down on a few shelves in the laundry area. Having just cleaned out the back mud room/laundry area, pantry, front closet & linen closet, office and side tables in the master bedroom it feels good, progress is good. My hubs has been working on his garage as well and got himself the lower half of the tool chest that he got the top half to at Christmas. He too is uplifted by getting our lives organized.

We are not even at the 15th of the month yet and I feel accomplished and I'm on my second book. I'm reading 'Learning to Breathe - My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life' by Priscilla Warner. As I used to suffer greatly from anxiety and still do though not to such extremes as I have learned to live and get through them I thought it might be a good read considering. That and it jumped out at me at the book store. So far it's not bad, I haven't closed it and left it so that should be a sign.

Sometimes when my life gets overwhelmed with sports, family activities, household duties and so much more I don't know where to start and then my plate seems as though it's over flowing, I get down and give up. January is always insane with my daughter's ringette, it's a month of regular season games and the Esso Golden Ring. This year on top of those games we also have inner cities and playdowns to contend with. That's one month of ringette almost daily, lots of traveling and lots of juggling school work and everything in between. Generally this is the test month but I won't let the insanity get me down, I will embrace it and allow balance to keep positive. Even if it's just the little things accomplished that keep me positive through until Provincials in February I can do it.

In 2013 there were a lot of set backs, I lost my grandmother, my girlfriend who went missing had her vehicle found though haven't found her but believe she has possibly expired, my arm, shoulder, neck and jaw have gotten progressively more frustrating and my migraines increased to the point strong medications have been required. I got to a point where I had to do something, I took a stand and needed to live. My mental state was winning and I was doing nil but sitting in unhappiness, that's when I started this blog.

When health and loss fall into the same year it's hard not to feel defeated and get down. I know there will ultimately be losses in some form in the year ahead, and quite possibly be our old dog Thunder but I will attempt to remain positive and move ahead instead of taking a seat and quitting. I'd like to look back at 2014 and say WOW and see all that I have done. Progress to me means over coming obstacles and that I didn't allow my pain to rule my life. If I can look back and see all that I did, it means I was living and frankly accomplishment is a success I thrive on. It doesn't matter how big or small!

Lots to do still this month and a very busy week and weekend ahead. I will...I can...I'm on the right path! I know so and the number 11 is a guiding number perhaps telling me I am on my path.

Today My Name is...11

Today My Name Is...Thankful

See this person....

That's me and it's 2014! I see a driven person...right now anyways.

It's that time of year. A time to organize, do things we said we'd do all year...you know, the resolutions? Well I like to jam pack them into one month, or try...or plan to try...okay...I just make a lot of To Do lists and notes I paste all over for the month of January...

I actually decided for this year to be a good year and enjoy every minute and be happy with everything along the way. I guess this year that's not necessarily a resolution but rather a path. Today wasn't overly productive I did manage to fight a migraine and flu like stomach feelings to get laundry done, go through my closet and bag up clothes that either don't fit or I don't wear any longer, transplant our ivy that we've had since before we got married (I've been meaning to do this for over 2 years now), and get Kiedis a new attractive crate that doubles as a side table...which we did. I also cleaned Viggo's cage....oooh and hubby put a new toilet seat in the kids bathroom and the girls went through their closets and dressers too. Time to grab my pen and cross stuff off my To Do list....YAY!

Living in a house full of pets comes with struggles all around...constant hair/fur to clean, feathers & seed, cage cleaning, poop scooping, litter changing...brushing, bathing....you name it. Speaking of hair....I also gave Kiedis a hair cut, which was past due and both Thunder and Kiedis nail trims. We all pull together to help care for our zoo. As 2 of our 3 dogs are crate trained we've had 2 crates in our living space for years. One is huge and the other not so much. So I wanted to find a way to incorporate at least the smaller crate into the home in a decorative type fashion and free up a floor space. After all Kiedis being a small dog and only 7yrs old still has many years to be with us. This new crate will double as a side table in the dark wood we have and can hold a lamp or whatever and won't stand out like a sore thumb.

Kiedis loves his new crate, so much so that he's passed up on laying on the couch to be in it. I assume it's because the crate is actually in the living room by the couches so there's no need now to be on the couch. I love this and as we are in 2014 and starting anew...we are being sticklers for keeping the dogs off the couch. Thunder cannot get up on the couch any longer in his old age, Kiedis is now in his crate instead, so it's just Bella that we have to nag now to stay down...and she's being persistent.

While I sit and think ahead at what I'd like for 2014 to hold for us and begin my mental budget to accomplish such I have written off this month to get things accomplished (pot, crate, toilet seat). I am hoping to get blinds and carpets done as well although I may wait until spring so I can open windows. In any case it's also a time to book the kids into camps, look at spring sports ect. So let's throw our money away in excess this month haha. January is a month to organize life and the year ahead. Nothing is set in stone but planned foot steps are made for each month enabling us to easier plan when our agendas are always over loaded.

And actually I won't be throwing money away...to any extremes. I will be organizing the upcoming months however into meal plans, budget plans, home maintenance plans, and organizing what needs to be done or should be done when. So in reality this will save us money, especially since I have printed coupons to go with planning for things like furnace and carpet cleaning.

Being organized for me feels really good...this comes from my past of being seriously OCD. I've had to adapt and allow things to slide in recent years. When my girls were babies my home was always immaculate. Now...with running a day home and finger prints on the walls, windows, mirrors ect I have relaxed. The house remains tidy but I'm not scrubbing, wiping and driving myself completely mental with exhaustion trying to keep up and on top of everything. Finger prints will not kill me, ruin my life or cause others to judge me in a bad way.

In staying on my organized path I printed calenders for the next 3 months today because it was on my mind and took two seconds so I could meal plan in advance. I haven't really started planning but rather preparing for the process of sitting down and mapping meals out. So basically the tools are waiting and ready. That got me to thinking..."What's for dinner tonight?" New year...trying to be healthy I dove into the fridge and freezer...we're limited, time to do another grocery run. Veggie burgers, veggies, pork loin, chicken....I decided on doing something with the pork loin. I had no recipe, no idea what to do except that I really wanted to have beets and wanted a one dish meal. So out came the crock pot and in went the frozen pork loins along with 2 large beets peeled and cubed, then 5 sliced carrots. What came next was an inventive grouping that turned out wonderful! BBQ sauce, maple syrup, Kraft Mango Chipotle salad dressing and Jamaican Me Crazy spice (the one with the pink lid). Oh my goodness! 8 hrs later we were eating a tender mouth watering meal. I was super impressed with this toss together miracle of a mistake. The beets were my favorite part, so buttery and sweet. So I have to post a bragging picture. Sadly in the process of this heavenly meal my crock pots lid broke....crock pot casualty! My hubby is happy though as he said it now means that he gets the crock pot with the locking lid he had been eyeing. (We love to crock pot cook if you couldn't tell!)

Life is completely about living, learning, adjusting...it's about going down an ever changing path and learning what works and doesn't, how to cope and so much more and each step frames who we are and become. My path has changed many times over...I myself have changed, those in my life have changed through the years and will all change again...and I look forward to it all...living I mean and learning and growing.

I planned a lot in this blog in 2013 and to be truthful I didn't complete or finish my intended goals. As I sit here I can recall the 52 week Money saving challenge. I really want to do that, but didn't complete it last year. I think in looking back that by putting funds away each week is what set me up to fail. I need to do it at pay day at the start of the month in full for the month. Additionally, I had 30 day challenges that I did not complete. I may or may not do things like this in 2014...and if I do, I intend to do one in a month, not 2-4 things. I'm happy though that I did complete the yoga :) Tell me I can't...and I will show you...(for the most part anyways)

I am really thankful for all that I am, have become and have in my life and I look forward to 2014 with great enthusiasm as should we all.

Today my name is.... Thankful

 

Happy New Year!

Cheers to 2014!

On that note I suck! What a way to start a blog post eh? Well I was on a roll with watching what I ate and after getting down 10 lbs I threw it all away after a wonderful week in Mexico!

Mexico was amazing. We stayed at the Grand Mayan Nuevo Vallarta, a timeshare resort so we actually purchased groceries and made most meals so you'd think we ate better. We probably did VS eating all inclusive but we drank enough calories to make up for not eating all inclusive. Each day we were busy walking around the resort, down the beach, riding the lazy river or cooling off in pools. We did a lot of walking but nothing active enough to burn the calories.

During our trip the girls swam with Dolphins for the first time which they said was totally amazing. They also released sea turtles. 3 total! One dark black baby turtle we found on the beach and another 2 lighter grey babies that we released with the resort release program. To say the least it was once in a lifetime memories they will cherish.

We liked the resort a lot. It was very clean, well managed. The suites were amazing with pools on the balcony. My hubby loved his time golfing with my brother in law and father. We found Puerto Vallarta very American and it reminded us a lot of our trip to Florida including the lovely weather we had all week.

Jay and I said that if we were to return to a resort again we'd likely go back to the Bahia Principe Tulum in the Mayan Riviera in Cancun. We really enjoyed that all inclusive resort and while we like lazy rivers and they don't have one there, there is so much else that makes up for it. So I guess maybe we are in the starting stages of discussion for our next trip haha.

Christmas in Mexico did not feel like Christmas at all and the girls were rather disappointed by the lack of tradition and missed the feeling of the holidays. So we will not do another trip over Christmas but rather plan for after and enjoy ringing in the New Year there.

So it's now 2014. I am pretty content with myself and have a good mind set but seemed to have lost will power somewhere maybe at the airport? LOL So time to get the will power to return and get into healthy lifestyle habits.

I didn't set much for resolutions to be honest. I would like to be comfortable within myself in 2014 and find happiness in everything and new passions that I can enjoy along the way that I won't feel limited by due to my arm.

I asked my oldest daughter what her resolutions were for 2014, her response was, "The year is just a number, I won't change because of a number just keep doing the best I can each day." Kids really are so pure and we should take a page or 50 from their books and see things clear.

I figure that if I can focus my mind, educate and help it find a content place to remain free of anxiety, stress, frustration and anger that I will be in a place where anything is possible. I picked up a couple books the other night. They look good, one is about learning to breathe and how simple breath can help with life. The other is about how to train your brain to be happy.

Now having said all this I am not unhappy, just seeking ways to feel more uplifted, and seeing the world through more positive view.

My hopes for the new year is to continue to find balance, see the To Do list dwindle away, one or two big projects completed, much more camping, perhaps a trip to somewhere tropical, be more active, eat healthy like I had been and cook meals as I enjoy doing. I hope to do things that I enjoy and the above are all things that I enjoy. I believe if I live my life doing things that make me happy then everything else will fall into place. I have noticed that as life has found more balance in the last year even with the girls growing and more falling onto their plates myself and my family are all happier.

Cheers to 2014! May it bring will power, happiness and good health to all for success on whatever path you choose to conquer!