I'm sure that this year is no different really than any other with things coming up....but I do have my oldest getting closer to being in Grade 10...new school. We are waiting to here about a program that she applied into. Suddenly today my mind is a tornado of activity and all I can see are $$$$. I guess I should get her out to shop for a grad dress...I have a place in mind to purchase but she should try a few styles on to see which she likes best on herself before we order. If I order from Etsy I will save, which then can assist with purchasing nice heels, accessories and hair as well.
Montreal is pretty much paid for. Spending cash is already set aside. So I shouldn't stress right? But I am...my baby is going to be without her parents for 1 week!!! She'll have an amazing week but still, I don't know how to prepare myself for this. I'm sure I will have loads of anxiety as we get closer and then the whole week she's away as well. Lord help me!
I wonder if this anxiety I feel today is at all because I'm both excited and nervous about the purchase of a trailer? We're heading to the RV show this weekend with the intention of purchasing a trailer to simplify our weekends away. I am so excited about this as we intend to get away as many weekends this year as we possibly can. In comparison to the tent trailer we will have so much more time around the site to enjoy our time instead of fretting the set up and take down and it will be so much easier with dogs, especially a senior dog. I always fret when it comes to money though so perhaps that's it?
Or could it be that my birthday is in 2 days? 33 this year! The age doesn't bother me...it never has like I see it bother others. I enjoy getting older as I find more satisfaction and enjoyment in life. I find with each year that I learn so much about myself, my life, my friends and my husband. I look back at the year with great pleasure in seeing all that we accomplish and look ahead with excitement.
I don't know why today I feel anxious. I think lists are playing out in my head and I feel like perhaps I am forgetting something. When I get like this I always wonder if I have forgotten something or over lapped plans or forgot to budget for something.
Really when I sit down and think or write down what either needs to be done or what I would like to get done I get a sense of calm...or in today's case I get a sense of urgency. I just don't know why.
Maybe it's because we have no free time what so ever until Feb? Or that the end of the month is near and I feel a sense of urgency to get things finished? Or because the hospital date is looming closer....I wish answers just came.
Anyways there's a lot going through my head today...I cannot find inner peace. Yesterday my arm cramped all afternoon and evening. For a bit I wondered if I wasn't having a stroke or heart attack. Weather may be a factor too as I have also had a migraine, though I sort of doubt it's weather as it's been nice out. What I really need is Yoga, or meditation...just a nice calm practice...perhaps tonight while my husband and youngest are at riding lessons I will take me time and focus my mind on calm...I hope that helps.
Today My Name is Anxiety
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