As I look back at this past year 32 has treated me ok. I've been through a lot, lost a lot and have found strength and courage to keep moving. I set a goal this past year to push through the pain from the car accident, to find new hobbies and things that make me happy and to do whatever health wise to avoid medications. I set my mind to focus on the positives, good memories, and beauty in life. This positive outlook helped me greatly through the loss of my grandmother.
I am so against medications. I just find them to be a band aid to bigger problems. It's hard to work through or fix anything if you cannot feel it. That said I will take medications when I must and the only one I've really considered has been for migraines this past year. Migraines have become my arch enemy and are the only thing that really bogs me down. I can fight through days with my arm, I've learned to live with the pain and days where I'm plagued with numbness, my left arm compensates and I adjust accordingly. Migraines though....those can be so completely debilitating. I lose days to bed and migraines unfortunately. For the most part I do try to live through them and get by, sometimes I just fold. Every day that I make it through still positive by bed time I feel this huge rush of success and accomplishment.
This past year was a real challenge for me. Learning to rise above negative and live happier is no easy task. Each day I had to smile and remind myself that I can allow pain to rule or I can be the boss and find ways to beat it. I also remind myself daily that it takes more work to be negative than to just enjoy things. Positivity is really wonderful and allows doors to open in every way. Lately I see this so much more and I really believe it's because positivity breeds positivity.
I have learned to find new life enjoyments. Cooking, meal planning, reading, blogging, spending solid time with my family, camping...these are things I really enjoy. I hope to continue to build on them and add more enjoyable things to my list.
Last night as I sat with my husband explaining my moment of clarity and realization about who I was and what my 20's meant to me I realised that my 30's will bring both of my girls to their grade 12 grads...drivers licenses, boyfriends....in many ways more trying times but these are the years that I realise that my girls will also start to spend less time home or with us. So I am making a point of creating opportunity to enjoy every moment they are willing to share with us which is why purchasing an RV is so imperative right now. We really want to spend more time away on weekends and through the summer. It's so hard to believe that my girls were babies not long ago. These years pass far too fast. What wonderful ladies they have both become! I could not be more proud!
I also spoke with my mother last night explaining to her how my teen years were a challenge, my 20's I struggled to really find myself and my place in every one's life but that I am really enjoying being in my 30's. I fret so much less and understand so much more. My mother agreed with me and informed me that the 40's are even better. Why is it that we cannot enjoy every age and every stage? I have memories I cherish from every point in life but I appreciate everything so much more at this point and it really feels good.
I don't know what the next year holds, but I hope for the next year. I look forward to continuing on the healthy path. I look forward to positive results from the hospital (fingers crossed).
As for February:
-I hope to take my health focus to a new level.
-read another 2 books
-stay on the track of balance
I have no lists planned, no big goals. I just look forward to finding enjoyment in each day and the small successes that come along the way. The little things right!
33 is a good number.
Today My Name Is...33 & Happy Birthday to Me!
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